... it's not a hobby, it's a lifestyle

Monday, March 30, 2015

If You Are Reading this…..Its Too Late

Yess yessss!!!! It is exactly what you think it is …#DrakeQuotablesss…..BUTTTT!!!…..In a weird, entirely different context than you think…..So remember that photoshoot that I had mentioned that I had wanted to take and use to launch my blog over Again!!! and Brand ME! #Kachmeifyoucan ….Well it did finally happen *whoot whoot*  ….If you follow me on IG ( @kachmeifyoucan_) ..you probably saw some sneak peeks here and there ….. so gonna finally put it all out !!!! . Had to save something for the blog so y'all would pay me a nice little visit….Plus you get a little entertaining story as well…Everyone loves a good story…..

Anywhos….So I had planned this shoot but had to keep pushing it back, due to certain logistics, trying to figure out shoot direction, and put together a team ( i.e Hair, make-up, photographer, look/styling) etc….. Couldn't quite map it out in my head, and certain schedules kept clashing….. I had planned that by latest first week of February everything will be finished and I could launch my new site, blog etc…but of course you know what they say about what happens when planning….Life happens when you are too busy planning!!! ….but I was determined to get it done because it was one of the promises I made to myself in the beginning of the year…So see ( Gonna back track a bit here) …gonna let you guys in on a little secret…. I made a promise to myself this year….. TO GET MY HOUSE IN ORDER!!!!!….( and thats an idiom/saying) , so not literally ( though literally I had to get my physical apt together as well hahahaa) …anywhos, I know this year is all about REAPING….So all the former seeds sown and any recent seeds sown and put out, we are supposed to REAP, So I had to make sure that I worked on making sure I kept sowing the right kind of seeds in order to Reap the right kind of benefits…. so the plan was all about unloading and straightening out important aspects of my life and relationships i.e work, family, and friends (unloading and working on the real ones). I divided the 12 months in 3….so thats 4 segments in the year I had to fulfill certain tasks……and get certain things done…. So far so good…. Because of how I kicked off my DEC/JAN I had a bit of catching up to do but all in all at least by the end of March I feel like I would have a bit more control and handle on getting certain situations moving along completely in the right direction….the plan is just to keep at it.

OKAY ….so back to the storyyyy…so yeah so this shoot had to happen by a certain time, but anyways it didn't and I had a family vacay/ wedding I had to attend in Trinidad & Tobago from FEBRUARY 12-20TH, so the plan was once I got back I made sure the shoot was on the way because in the midst of that I had a photoshoot and videoshoot that all had to happen in the same week of everything…..So once back it was going to be an amazingly busy busy week…..I had considered postponing my shoot but I was like "...whatever just figure it out and get it done and worst case scenario…..plan another one much later but for now just get these damn pictures done and out of the wayyy.." Now plus my crazy busy schedule and all the things I had going on ( you know, they say when it rains it pours) I had some personal issues that needed some straightening out….see I am a very sensitive person everything gets to me and affects me in a major way, so if one aspect of me is off, tends to dip into every aspect…. I will get whatever needs to get done done but it affects my disposition and puts me in a weird space.  But like I said had to figure it all out and just make sure things that needed to get done happened….

Anyways the Heavens smiled on me , and the whole shoot came together, found an amazing photographer, had some intern interviews that day, so ended up having them stay after and assist on the shoot, one of my interns doubled as my hairstylist and my friend helped me find a Makeup artist last minute when mines cancelled…. As far as direction went… With the look, I decided to keep it ME, as far as my everyday look/wardrob would be, with a little bit of everything…simple and fun, some dressed up looks , some out there "only you kanayo" looks ( :-P) but pretty much keeping it true to me and who I am, location wise; instead of a boring studio or something so confined,  just figured we would use my neighborhood and make it work and just wing it…..and winging it was the best decision ever turned out to be a very fun shoot, with soo much good energy and great vibes,….everyone just had fun with it and I remembered how Blessed I was. How much worrying doesn't help get things done but just a Leap of Faith and Trusting God, how everything will be just Fine!……And a special shout out to everyone that made this shoot possible….

PHOTOG: DANIEL VASQUEZ (http://www.danieljvasquez.com)

Definitely made this shoot work because everyone was on a tight time schedule, myself included, had to go shopping and had some showroom appointments right after for the upcoming video and photoshoot I had coming up that same week. Not to mention it was BRICKKKKK!!! ( that means : COLD like Brrrrrrrr *gucci mane* heehe)Outside, so as happy as I look with no coat and opened toe shoes outside, that is exactly what you call faking it for the camera :-P



Now, Like I said around that time a lot of things were going on both work wise and personally and while out in Trinidad and Tobago….this mix tape came out and I was trying my hardest to download and listen to it while out there but internet issues….So once I got back I downloaded but didn't get a chance to listen to it…..Then finally on one of my 2am "kickstart my creativity" nights …..I started listening and it was like in a weird way every song there was something I could relate to, something I wanted to say, something I felt……I didn't even realize how much it related until I was posting the photos and I needed a caption and every caption happened to just somehow come from the album then I heard the Song NOW & FOREVER and I was like Thats it…..Thats what I will call the shoot!!!! the story behind getting the shoot together, the reasons I had for wanting to put the shoot together, my whole mindset with structuring my work/career, and even personal life!!!

At this point in my life ...Everything I do now, Everybody I decide that stay or comes in my life I want it NOW & FOREVER….I want no fleeting friendships, relationships or careers. I put so much and all of myself into EVERYTHING I do and into any  kind of RELATIONSHIP ( Friendships, family,and even dating relationships) which is why everything affects me so strongly or I am so hard on myself and also the feeling of uncertainty sets in because there is this need to fix everything and make sure everything  happens just right ….instead of sometimes just doing!!! or doing but not wanting to do TOO much incase it doesn't work out and then theres that feeling of disappointment and trying to avoid that feeling…..BUT I realized gotta make it happen in the NOW and just keep at it and do what it takes positively ( avoiding the feeling of fear, rejections, the not knowing, the NO's, the self doubt ) to make sure it stays and lasts FOREVER!!!!

(people's opinions of me does not define me - God and who I am in him is what Defines me). Learning to appreciate and acknowledge the NOW and my accomplishments, taking things one day at a time but also setting the pace and momentum for building and growing. Learning to leave people with their conclusions or predictions of  Who I am /What I will be and How I will turn out. Learning that I have the RIGHT to grow at my own pace, all that matters is the willingness to KEEP growing and the desire to grow. Learning that there is no need to Defend myself against people's preconceived or self derived notions or conclusionS of me, because people believe And see only what they want. Learning the Power of clear and Honest Communication, it leaves no room for anger, drama, assumptions, skepticism, interference or even resentment. Learning that I am Stronger than I seem, Braver than I believe and Smarter than I think I am, Learning to love my Heart, there is absolutely nothing wrong with accepting and loving people for exactly who they are, while seeing the good and potential in them,  being considerate and emphasizing; does not make me naive, a pushover, a people pleaser or someone that lacks in strength…Instead it makes me exactly who GOD intended for me to be and gives me a better understanding on the importance of Humility and the Blessings that come from doing for others.

Yes there are those that will not appreciate it or may take advantage of your kindness and good faith and see it as a weakness but that's not your problem, thats an issue they have to sort out within themselves. It also teaches and encourages you to grow because you are capable of learning from every and anyone despite their shortcomings…Everyone that has come into my life has been a Blessing to me in one way or another…Whether it was in the lessons taught, whether in the strength I had to find within myself that I didn't know that I had or whether in the growing together and experiencing their high and low moments together , whether in the lasting friendships and memories created or whether in knowing exactly why and what I NEED in people that ABSOLUTELY Belong in my life and those that are toxic and have no place and have served their purpose ( in teaching the lesson God needed me to see). I  am so Very Excited about my NOW & FOREVER!!!! My story only gets better from here……I am a Child of Purpose and Destiny…From Birth, I had to fight for my survival…..and I have conquered many other obstacles and hurdles and…. made it this far…..So who Gon' Stop me NOW!!

Now for a lighter segment of this post!!! Gonna leave you with all my fave quotes from the "If you are reading this…..Album….


"….I saw Potential in you from the go, you know that I did
I don't know if you know, but I know who you are
You could be as big as Madonna….


"…..Everyday I was strugglin' to learn what life's about
On my way Money taught me Spanish, make it ondale
….Right or wrong, I'mma write my wrongs
They can't live this long
You don't know where you're gonna go
I got this s*** mapped out strong

" ….You know they all sentimental now
You know they all actin' different now
And I, I just can't pretend
Seen too much, its so hard for me to let new people in…"

"Plan this shit on my own, the way it should go
Wrote it in code then wrote it in stone
So they'll never know
But I might tell you one day you never know…."


"I got people talking' down, man, like i give a f***


"….I been at the house taking no calls
I done hit the stride got my s*** join'
….Drapes closed, I don't know what time it is
I'm still awake, I gotta shine this year…"


" Runnin' through the 6 with my woes
Countin' Money you know how it goes
Pray the real live forever man
Pray the fakes get exposed
I want that Ferrari then I swerve
I want that Bugatti just to hurt
N****s want my spot and don't deserve it
I don't like how serious they take themselves
I've always been me I guess I know myself
Shakiness man I don't have no time for that…"


"..Yeah, I stay up late at night, thinking', bout my life
Want a lot, will I get it all? Ain't no telling
Ain't no tellin', yeah, ain't no tellin'
Yeah, no tellin', ain't no tellin'…."
…..True say, I been join' hard, but then again
They think I'm soft, think I'm innocent
I'm just lookin' in the mirror like I'm really her
Man. I'm really her, you just fill in' in man..
….Ain't no tellin'
Please don't speak to me like I'm that Kacha from four years ago
I'm at a higher Place…."


I know you heard things
B****, I know you heard things
Yeah, I know you heard things, I know you
I'm not new to this
i'm not new to this
N**** wouldn't make it on this side
I'm not new to this
I'm not new
Yeah I know you heard things
Nobody really likes us except for us
Yeah, all I ever needed was a squad so thats whats up
Yeah, my sound got the whole city in your way right now
So I don't give a f***what anybody saying" right now"

 #Used to

"…When you get to where I'm at…You gotta remind them where the f*** you at
Everytime they talking is behind your back
Gotta Learn to Line 'em up then attack
I'ma hit 'em with the wham once again
I'mma always end up as the man in the end, dog
…Only see the truth when I'm staring in the mirror
Lookin' at myself like, there it is there
Yeah, like there it is there man, who
I ain't tryna chance it"


It's over, it's over, yeah, I'm leaving, I'm gone
I can't stay here no more and I can't sleep on the floor
Man, I'm leaving, I'm leaving, you know I got my reasons
Yeah, I'm leaving, yeah, I'm leaving, yeah, I'm leaving, I'm gone
I'm leaving, I'm gone
I had to knock down the wall
Yeah, I swear to God that I'm gone
I'm leaving, I'm leaving
No looking back when I'm gone
No looking back when I'm gone
No more (x16)

It's over, it's over, yeah, I'm leaving, I'm gone
I've been doing this wrong, I've been here for too long
I'm leaving, I'm leaving, you know I got my reasons
Yeah, I'm leaving, I'm leaving, I'm leaving, I'm gone
I'm leaving, I'm gone
I don't wanna miss the boat, I don't wanna sit in coach
I don't wanna sit at home, I gotta get where I'm going
I'm afraid that I'mma die before I get where I'm going
I know I'mma be alone, I know I'm out on my own
I just gotta hit the road, I just gotta know the road
I just gotta hit a road, I just gotta know the road
I just gotta know the road

Something to say then say that then
I just been out and bad from way back when
I can't be out here on no laid back s***
I can't be out here on no laid back s***
You got something to say then say that then
I just been out and bad from way back when
I gotta get on the road, I gotta get on the road
I ain't looking back no more, no, no, no
No more (x14)

I gotta go out and get it, want you to know what i did
Want you to know how it went
That's why I keep telling you over and over again
Just let me go
Just let me go, let me bring it home to you
Just let me go, let me bring it home to you
Now and Forever, I'll bring it him to you
Just let me go, let me bring it home
Let me go, let me bring it home to you
Let me go, let me bring it home to you
Now and forever, I'll bring it home to you
Let me go, let me bring it home to you
Let me go, Let me bring it home to you
Now and Forever, I'll bring it home
Now and Forever, I'll bring it home


"I got no friends in this, momma
I don't pretend with this, momma
I'm no joke with this momma
I pull the knife out my back and cut they throat with it, momma
I'm Game of Thrones with it, momma
I'm alone with it, momma

"…Cause I'm not acting tough
or making stories up 'bout where I'm actually from
But I just roll with it…
Gotta be careful around Rolling Stone
Or anyone that's tryna throw stones at me, momma,
I'm not condoning it, momma
They will not tear nothing down…"


These days, I'm letting God handle all things above me
The things I can't change are the reasons you love me
Listen, you can hear them calling my name
I'm all over the place, I can't sit in one place
I'm not ashamed at all
Still findin' myself, let alone a soulmate, I'm just sayin'
Feel like we one and the same, our relationship changed
That or it never existed…."

"She said you're my everything
I love you through everything, I done did everything to her
She forgave me for everything, this a forever thing
Hate that I treated like it's a whatever thing
Trust me girl, this shit is everything to me
She from the jungle, she from the jungle
I take somebody else's car, drive there undercover
This sh** is everything to me, this sh** is everything
Don't know where we stand, I used to hit you 'bout everything
Are we still good? Are we still good?…"


"Yeah, yeah, oh, you gotta love it
Oh, you got, oh, you gotta love it
I heard what circulated, let's get to the bottom of it
…….Somehow always rise above it
Why you think I got my head in the clouds on my last album cover?
The game is all mine and I'm mighty possessive
…..Every shot you see them take at me? They all contested
…..Last night I went to sleep, wanted more
Tried to decide what direction I should go towards
Some nights I wish I could go back in life
Not to change s***, just to feel a couple things twice
28 at midnight, wonder whats next for me
Longevity, wonder how long they'll check for me
Prolly forever if I stay in my zone
I speak on this generation, but can't change it alone….."

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